What's the Deal?

I’m the faddy type.

I tend to lurch from one obsession to another, abandoning each behind after a few days or weeks with not so much as a careless glance.

Admittedly, there are also more than a few longstanding obsessions:

• My cats Thomas and Gertie (though I do go off Thomas for long periods of time. He is a faithless tart)
• My Aga. I could NOT live without it. Well I probably could, but the mere thought sends me hurtling behind the sofa, curled up in the foetal position rocking to-and-fro (admittedly, I have pretty much the same reaction when I get the resulting quarterly gas bill)
• I’m unable to leave the bathroom without leaving the end of the loo roll folded into a neat little point (this includes other people’s bathrooms, restaurants, public toilets etc).
• I can’t go past any picture without trying to straighten it (see loo roll). Even if it’s already straight.
• Kevin McCloud of Grand Designs, the lovely Phil and Kirsty of Location Location, and….Jean-Luc Picard of Star Trek Next Generation.
• Checking ex-boyfriends Facebook pages. Ex-boyfriends from up to 20 years ago. But surely that’s more caring than weird????
• Long hot baths with lavender oil and So-Doku. And toppings up of piping hot water using the manipulation-of-hot-tap-with-big-toe method. LOVELY.
• My gorgeous antique bed, complete with electric blanket and 3 pocket-sprung mattresses. INDESCRIBABLY lovely.
• Sarah Arnett dresses. I have 14 lurking guiltily in a dedicated wardrobe, with a couple displayed artfully on the bedroom wall to induce envy in visiting girl friends. But I think that’s a Brighton thing. Every woman in BN1 to BN4 went into mourning when she shut up shop a year ago. The occasional “pop-up-shop” throws the city into pandemonium. Frantic Brightonettes, caterwauling, fling themselves lemming-like down city-centre roads, dodging traffic with no regard for personal safety towards the latest just-announced-by-email destination.

But it’s the intermittent faddy type obsessions that I throw myself into with complete (if short-lasting) and single-minded abandon. A few examples.

• Numerous boyfriends. However, fad transforms within nano-seconds to a repulsed god-you’re-scaring-me-I-want-to-hide type reaction if they seem even slightly keen. e.g. calling me for once. (If completely uninterested, they are moved swiftly to list above and languor there for a good few months)
• Satsumas. I once lived on these for 2 months. Literally nothing else. Lost 3 stone. Gained architectural cheekbones and jutting hipbones you could hang washing from. Fantastic. Can’t bear them now.
• Spinning. Went religiously 5 times a week for 4 months. Got very muscular thighs. Went on holiday. Can barely get leg over saddle now.
• DIY tasks. Buy the kit. Buy the power tools. After 15 mins realise its not as easy as I thought. Throw tantrum. Throw tools. Call in bloke to do it. Power tools hide awkwardly in cellar.
• Gardening. Grew perfect “pensioner’s” garden complete with pretty lights, bunting, statue and vegetable patch. Moving on 3 months, garden is a complete wilderness with knee-high grass and decaying tomato plants hanging straw-like from bending canes. Bunting is limp and grey-green with mildew. I have no idea what happened to the statue.
• Blogging. Well…if you’re curious, you’ll see a pattern in the dates from my Blog Posts. Blogging might make a brief resurgence though. We’ll see….

My current obsession is….shamefully…..”Deal or No Deal”. I search all the freeview channels and set programme reminders. Even watch it if it’s a repeat. OK…FREQUENTLY watch repeats. Posh Totty cousin got very addicted to it a couple of years ago (so I guess it runs in the family), and I teased her relentlessly. Especially when she bought the board game for Christmas.

She can NEVER NEVER know.

Please let me know. Is it just me?